My Father: Texter Supreme Tuesday, Jun 29 2010 

My dad is the best texter in the universe. It’s an undisputed fact. What? You need proof? Alright, alright…

Some of my father’s choice texts to me:

“How are things as the Mayor of Dilltopia?”

I fired back: “You should know; since you’re the President of Dill-Country.”

And then he was all like, “You’re the god we pray to in the Dilliverse. Supreme creator of all things dill.”

More?

“I screamed DILL and no one answered and I knew you weren’t there and it made me sad.”

Another: “I’m making my own movie called “Chey’s Dad, 1 cup,” We are going to be famous.”  — That’s after I told him about ‘2 girls, 1 cup.’

To notify me that my glasses were ready from the doctor: “Your quadfocals came in.”

Me: Yay!

Dad: That’s right, cheer for me for I am the greatest father this universe has ever seen and you should feel blessed that a mere dill like you were born into my mighty realm.

Me: Right… Anyway I’m glad my glasses are here. Did I tell you how much trouble I was having playing Silent Hill?

Dad: Yes, I chuckled to myself and whispered, ‘Dills have such hard lives’.

SMH. Fathers.

Ugh… Thursday, Jun 24 2010 

Feeling like this:

I wonder if monotony makes me depressed, or if everything seems more monotonous because I’m depressed.

Thoughts?

~

In other news…

These make me happy.

Sounds fair...

Makes me think of my stories...

Something my dad would say.

How true.

Where was this book during my childhood?

A situation I commonly find myself in.

The Perils of My Morning Commute Tuesday, Jun 22 2010 

I walk to school everyday. It’s a ten minute walk, not all that bad…

But danger lurks.

First things first.

Sometimes I’m listening to music, and a song I don’t wanna listen to pops up.

AGHH WHAT IS THIS SHIT

The solution would be to take my mp3 player out of my pocket and change the song— but then I see:

And the plan goes to shit.

I don’t wanna take my mp3 player out in front of a hobo. I’d feel like a jerk. They don’t even have a place to sleep and I’m all, “OMG I gotta change this song.”

I would beat the shit outta me if I were a hobo and I saw myself doin’ that.

Second trial.

I’m a happy person.

But sometimes, when I’m walking…

I smile.

And I don’t want any srangers to see me happy, so I try to stifle it down and then people look at me and I have to look away and GAH.

Lastly…

I’m a really fast walker.

And because I’m always zooming along, I get all hot. And then I try to slow down, but I CAN’T, because something inside of me keeps telling me to go faster.

"FASTER!"

Atheists— Why are they such jerks? Sunday, Jun 20 2010 

I guess the topic header thingy says it all.

I’m noticing a trend lately with a lot of atheists— they see anyone who expresses having faith and they’ll dismiss them as “morons” or people who are ruining the human race.

Um… What? Come on, dills. Just because someone has religion in their lives doesn’t mean that they’re stupid. A whole bunch of religious people are better human beings than any of those losers will ever be. I don’t see why they can’t have a little more tolerance. It really makes me sick to my stomach; and, ironically, it makes me worry even more for the human race than all the “dangerous moronical religious types” walking around these days. :/

No pretty pictures for this post… I’m feeling kinda down right now.

Welcome~ Saturday, Jun 19 2010 

Hello there and welcome to my blog  :)

I’m not one to pull my punches— I’m gonna take on CONTROVERSIAL and SO NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT subjects. YEAH SO THERE.

My first order of business shall be…

I TOTALLY THINK THAT FELIX FROM ‘THE TROOP’ IS GAY.

Ok, if you have a semblence of dignity, then you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ll explain.

There’s this show on Nickelodeon. It’s called “The Troop”. There’s a kid named Felix on this show.

And I am 90% sure that he is gay.

Why am I so sure?

1. He’s got most of the sterotypical gay mannerisms: exaggerated hand gestures, acts feminine and all the rest…

2. Look at what he’s wearing in one of the press release photos:

Yeah.

3. In one episode, he says, “Are you sure? A lot of people hate me. Our classmates, my parents, your parents, and a few clergymen.”

You know who clergymen hate?

THE GAYS.

I’m sooo sure this is an elaborate case of The Troop writers getting shit under the radar.

Either that, or the kid who plays Felix is gay. There’s SOME type of gayness going on here. I feel it, dammit.