The Dark Side of Industrial Piercings Thursday, Feb 2 2012 

One of my last few posts before my hiatus detailed my experience getting an industrial piercing in my right ear. For the most part, it wasn’t so bad. The piercing itself was painful for about two days, and then the pain went away and I was left with a really cool looking piercing that would need some upkeep, but would supposedly bother me no more.

Lies.

Here are a few things you should know if you’re considering getting an industrial piercing. No one told me these things, because, I don’t know, everyone else who has one is an asshole who doesn’t like sharing information with the world like I do.

1. They Take For-Fucking-Ever to Heal

Alright, I’ll admit, I had already known that the industrial piercing took longer than most other piercings to heal. ‘But whatever,’ I thought, ‘I can deal with a longer healing time. It’s in my ear, so it’s no biggie.’

Actually, it’s a huge fucking biggie. Every time I go to clean the damn thing, (which I have to do three times a day), there’s some new crusty mixture of blood and shit that I assume was never meant to see the light of day.

Nope, it's not pie crust, (unfortunately).

The piercing itself also likes to get stuck in the funk, so I can’t even play with the piercing and twirl it around like a baton, which I would like to be able to. For reasons.

Look at how much fun she's having!

2. Everything Will Try To Infect It

When I first got my piercing, I had some vague knowledge of infections. I knew you probably shouldn’t rub dirt on the piercing or let people tongue-fuck it or whatever, but apparently there is a wide range of things trying to poison your piercing and make your ear fall off.

  • Hair
  • Glasses
  • Phones
  • Pillowcases
  • Fucking anything your ear comes in the slightest contact with

The important thing to remember here is that, with the industrial piercing, you’ve got two relatively large, (for things that have been stabbed through your ear), open wounds that are just chilling and taking their sweet, sweet time to heal.

And it’s important to keep that in mind, because, as soon as you get the piercing…

3. It Will Create It’s Own Gravitational Pull

Like this, I guess.

Okay, not really. It’s just a piercing, not a small bar-shaped planet.

But I swear to God, ever since I got my industrial, everyone and their mother is trying to touch it.

Whether they’re patting me on the head, smashing their ear against mine as we hug, trying to run their fingers through my hair, putting my glasses on me, it all ends in excruciating pain. I’ve grown quite accustom to ducking and screaming, “My ear! My ear!” Before anyone even gets within a foot of the piercing. Because like I said, they’re open wounds. If I shot you in the stomach and then tried to jam my finger in there, you’d be less than pleased about it too.

Now, does all this mean that industrial piercings suck ass and you should never get one? Of course not. They’re fucking awesome. Just keep the above information in mind. There are enough surprises in life.

P.S. And if you like tucking your hair behind your ear, you can kiss that goodbye, too!

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Getting Pierced the Fuck Up– A Long Story. Sunday, Nov 13 2011 

About three hours ago, I got an industrial piercing. For those of you not in the know, an industrial piercing looks like this:

As you may have deduced, an industrial piercing is actually two piercings, with a bar jammed into them. I don’t know what exactly compelled me to want the piercing, besides the fact that I just thought it looked good. That’s enough for me, really.

Now, onto the actual experience, which I just know you all will find extremely riveting.

~

I walked into the tattoo shop behind a woman who I had just watched toss her cigarette out the window.

She's lucky this guy wasn't there to witness that.

“Can I help you?” She asked.

“She’s here to get a piercing,” my father explained, who had accompanied me for the express reason of filming the entire thing and hoping I would cry and throw a big fit.

I knew I certainly wasn’t going to cry, (I’m not a bitch), but I was concerned that at some point I might, you know, get something in my eye and it might flood with eye juices and tear up and stuff like that.

“What kind of piercing do you want?” The woman asked.

“An industrial,” I answered.

She nodded. “Which ear?”

“My right,” I said.

She frowned. “Well, which side do you sleep on?”

“My left,” I lied. “That’s why I chose my right.” In reality, I chose my right ear because I plan to get a tattoo of some sort on the left side of my body, and I’m all about odd symmetry. Also, I prefer to hold my phone up to my left ear.

She nodded. “Okay, which piece do you like?” She asked, holding up a cushion with various barbells stabbed into it. I selected a black barbell, with points at the end.

Kiiiiind of like this, but black.

The woman nodded. “Black titanium. You’re the first to select this type,” she explained, loosening the jewelery from its cushion. I was on the verge of asking why no one else had ever chosen that type, (like, did it cause herpes or something?), but before I knew it, I was whisked off to a black chair.

No one likes herpes, after all.

My dad laughed from his perch ten feet away. “You look tight,” he teased.

“Whatever,” I replied.

The woman turned around to face me. “When was the last time you ate?” She asked.

“Uh… Like three hours ago,” I replied, beginning to feel hungry now that she had brought it up. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, you know, if you’re feeling nervous–”

“I’m not gonna throw up,” I interjected with a laugh, seeing where she was heading. “I’m not that nervous. More like excited,” I finished.

“Okay,” she said, brandishing a medieval looking pair of scissors. “Lie on your side.”

“Those don’t even look sharp,” I thought to myself worriedly as the woman scrubbed at my ear and marked the incision points. “Holy shit.”

“The first one’s gonna hurt more than the second,” the woman began. “Because of all the cartilage.”

I nodded. “Alright!”

“Deep breath,” she suggested, stabbing the scissors into my ear.

I shut my eyes tight. My ear began to ache and throb incessantly, but it wasn’t insanely painful.She slid the barbell through the hole and I gasped.

“Woah,” I said, laughing. “What a weird feeling…” Because it was a weird feeling. Like getting a metal bar shoved through a fresh wound in your ear.

“Here we go,” she said, readying the scissors for the next piercing.I shut my eyes and–

“Fuck!” I exclaimed as she stabbed my ear. The second piercing had gone much quicker, but hurt like a motherfucker; way more than the first.

“All done,” the woman said, screwing the ball onto the barbell.

I sat up, surveying my ear in the mirror. It was super red and super sore, but the piercing itself looked pretty good.

~

Three hours later, my ear still hurts, but I love my piercing. I can switch the barbell in two weeks, and I’m already eyeing some new ones:

This one kind of reminds me of a dildo.

This one, too.

But one barbell tops them all…

HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!

This is Just all Over the Place. Thursday, Mar 31 2011 

(WHY DID I SAY I WAS GONNA UPDATE THIS WEEKLY FML I HATE YOU GUYS).

Anyway.

~

It’s 11 PM and I’m feeling especially useless, so I’ll unload a big rant about things I’ve been thinking about, you’ll wonder why I’m a freak, and then next Thursday I’ll hope that you forgot I said I was gonna update weekly.

Let’s go!

~

I recently downloaded a new game! Dracula: Origin.

It’s hard as fuck and makes me feel stupid. But at the same time it’s super creepy and really fun :>

(I will cry when I beat it)…

~

I’ve been trying to pinpoint exactly what tattoo(s)/piercing(s) I want.

Maybe something like this...

Stuff I’m Positive I Want

– My video game tattoo (which I should really plan out already).

– Belly button piercing

– Industrial

Stuff I’m Still Considering

– Something for my left bicep possibly incorporating a fleur de lys

– Tongue piercing (Although I lisp enough as it is; so I’ll probably never do this).

BTW, something I hate: When people are like “Ew, don’t get that kind of tattoo/piercing it’s so >insert reason to dislike it<.” AND THEN A WEEK LATER THEY START SAYING HOW IT’S SUCH A COOL IDEA AND THEY’RE GONNA DO IT. Grrrrr.

~

Another thing I don’t like: When a friend of mine says something not PC and I don’t really want to correct them but at the same time I do.

I’ll just put it like this.

Stuff You Really Shouldn’t Say

1. “Slow,” as in, “God I got all these questions wrong, I’m so slow!”

2. “No homo.” (This one especially makes me want to hit people).

3. “She’s so pretty but she’s a lesbian!” (My face: -_-)

4. “She looks like a man.” (To be honest, this phrase is part of my vocabulary and I really need to fucking stop it).

5. “I think everyone is really bisexual.” This seems like such a harmless thing to say, but it’s a sweeping statement that just really isn’t true. Homosexuals are really homosexual and heterosexuals are really heterosexual. That’s it for them.

There’s other stuff, but that’s off the top of my head and I’m sleepy. Time for me to go to sleep and not be able to fall asleep for two hours.

Yay!