Not So Great Things Thursday, Nov 10 2011 

I’ve been looking at a lot of pictures of Cthulhu lately, as semi-research for a story of mine.

To refresh your memory, (or let you know for the first time), Cthulhu is a monster created by H.P. Lovecraft, acclaimed science fiction/strange fiction writer. Cthulhu crashed to Earth from another galaxy in Earth’s antiquity and now lies sleeping underwater in the ancient city of R’yleh.

There’s lots of great art of the terrifying, amphibious monster that is Cthulhu…

And there’s also a lot of not so great art.

~

To be clear, let’s go over what Cthulhu is supposed to look like, as outlined in H. P. Lovecraft’s, ‘The Call of Cthulhu.’

  1. He’s got a, “pulpy, tentacled head;” reminiscent of an octopus.
  2. His body is “scaly.”
  3. He has, “rudimentary wings;” here meaning, not large enough to fly with.
  4. All in all, he looks sort of like, “an octopus… dragon.. human caricature.”
  5. HE’S FUCKING HUGE. HUGE, HUGE, HUGE. If nothing else, one should at least remember that.
  6. Also, lots of people like to make him green. Who knows why.

Here’s an example of an acceptable Cthulhu representation:

And now, here are some examples that are unacceptable:

Well, now. It’s hard to tell what the fuck is even going on here. It’s like… A brain… Attached to a stick… Attached to the body of a skinned ape? Something tells me this not what Lovecraft envisioned.

Also, why is it just strolling through what looks to be the projects?

Cthulhu, you've really let yourself go...

Ignoring the monster’s morbid obesity for a moment…

WHY DOES IT HAVE NIPPLES.

WHY.

Ignore Cthulhu for a moment and direct your attention to everything else going on this picture.

A wizard, (?), the sky falling and opening up, some big ass cliff in the middle of nowhere, and, is that a crown on Cthulhu’s head..? Listen up, artists: it’s a problem when you draw a picture of Cthulhu and he’s not the craziest thing going on in the picture.

(Also, his man boobs are bothering me).

The next two pictures display some common issues with Cthulhu representations.

  

Many of Lovecraft’s monsters make people go insane when they look upon them. In trying to replicate that effect, (not in full, hopefully), these two artists have created monstrosities that can’t even be comprehended. If you saw it in real life, you wouldn’t be scared– you’d be confused as fuck. And that’s not that scary.

Except maybe in Math class.

Here are some more crappy Cthulhu pictures to give you nightmares:

"Um, we said, 'draw Cthulhu,' not a fucking dragon."

Purple Cthulhu loves the ladies...

This is, at the very least, scary in it's own way...

Why ‘Interview With the Vampire’ was the Most Influential Story From my Childhood Thursday, Mar 24 2011 

When I was little, we had a storeroom in the back of the house, and it had a box filled with my mom’s old books. Piers Anthony, Amy Tan… And Anne Rice.

My copy looks just like this, except a little more beat-up.

I was nine when I first read Interview With the Vampire, and subsequent re-readings have made me wonder if I really understood everything I was reading back then.

It got gayer while I wasn't looking.

But then I realized…

My life is pretty much based around this book. How so? Well, I don’t know if you noticed… But sometimes I write shit.

To be fair, a lot of this stuff overlaps.

When you combine the ‘Vampires’ part of the pie with the ‘Love’ part of the pie, (since I like writing about gay vampires in love), you’ll see that a large amount of the pie chart wouldn’t be possible without Interview.

Because guess who else liked writing about gay vampires.

“But Chey,” you begin, “I thought you said your life was based around this book! You just mentioned how it related to you writing!”

And to that I say, MY WRITING IS MY LIFE.

 

NaNoWriMo! Wednesday, Oct 27 2010 

November is a big month for me this year.

– My birthday is on the 13th :)

– Thanksgiving! Cooking+Eating= Very happy Cheyanne!

– I’m participating in NaNoWriMo, (National Novel Writing Month).

That’s right, bitches… I’m writing a novel :D

I’ve gotta get 50,000 words down by the end of November! AGH. So I won’t be reading any of it over. Idk if I’ll post it on Facebook… Or even reach the neccesary word count xD

What the novel will be about:

– It’ll be a re-worked version of an older, unfinished story

– Vampires are involved :D

Really sexy vampires :)

Unsexy vampire :(

– The writing/story will be totally flowery and indulgent so that I’ll be extra motivated to write…
-My grades this month will most likely suffer lmao! OH FUCKIN’ WELL.